You know? It really does suck being not only a teenager, but a teenage girl. You have all of this shit going through your mind every day and all night. You think about all the shit in your life and feel like it’s all your fault. You feel like you have to constantly compare yourself to other girls, things like your weight; looks; hair; ect. You always feel like you aren’t good enough. Then you feel stupid because you think to yourself, “Wow. Other people have way worse problems.” But hey, everybody has problems, and you can’t blame yourself for having your own. Like sometimes, it’s really hard to look at the bright side. Because you feel like there isn’t one. Any for some girls, maybe there isn’t. But time really does heal everything. I know..it is hard. Thinking, wow I really want a boyfriend like in the movies or, wow, I really want to look like this other girl, she is so much better looking than I am. Then the really hurtful things, like losing someone that you really cared about. Like a special person. This person comes into your life and and makes you feel on top of the world, like nothing is going to break you down..Almost like a perfect time in your life. When you had that one person that made you actually yourself, and you didn’t care about all of those other ‘perfect’ girls that are so much better than you. Because that one person made you feel like you were..well..the only girl. But then that person leaves..or has a change of mind one day. Then you make yourself sick, wondering ..Why? Why wasn’t I good enough? It hurts. It almost feels like you can actually feel the pain in your chest. Then you think of all of the things you could have done to make that one person stay and you feel like such a fuck up for not trying hard enough to fix things. Even though they were the reason everything ended. Not you. But you still miss them everyday, and for some odd reason you can’t stop. You do all these things to try to keep your mind off of that person, but then..it gets really late at night and you’re all alone in your bed and still..just keep on wondering, and thinking; and missing that one person. It just sucks.
Is it awkward to admit the fact I miss you?
I know I didn’t fuck up or anything that’s all on you but it’s like I’m sad and lonely I hardly talk to anyone ughhh I think about you all the damn time like I know have to move on because I don’t have the guts to talk to you or bother to even try because I believe it’ll result as a fight besides I feel like you miss me as well but I don’t know to be honest